Day of the Evil Cats
by mecha-tama
Summary: Bakura deals with the cough cough joys of cat sitting... I really need to work on summarys ;; purely humor!
1. Precious, The furry demon cat

S-d: "Hiya all, I'm sabre-dragon! This is my first fic so DON'T FLAME!!! All flamers will be eaten alive by my pet lycanthrope (werewolf/dragon) which is named Sausage. Heheheh say hi, Sausage!"  
  
Sausage: -_- "She is evil..."   
  
S-d: "And now we have a very special guest to do the disclaimer!"  
  
Sausage walks in carrying a bound and gagged Seto Kaiba.  
  
S-d: "SETO!!!" Runs up and glomphs Seto. "Now do the disclaimer!"  
  
Seto: "You stole me! There's no way I'm doing the disclaimer, and you can't force me."  
  
S-d holds up a large mallet. "Do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way?"  
  
Seto: 0_0 " She just got her pet lycanthrope to steal me, do you honestly think that she owns Yu-Gi-Oh?"   
  
^__________________________________________________________________________^  
  
The rain poured down onto the city of Domino. It was the holidays so even the schools were empty. Well even if the schools were open it was a Sunday so it's not likely that anyone would be in school but...   
  
***S-d: "Narrator guy, quit describing and just open to Ryou's house all ready! Stupid shadow realm... I asked for someone SMART!" Holds up millennium sword.   
  
Narrator guy: "0.0 eep!"***  
  
Moving right along... And inside the house of Ryou Bakura someone was having a little problem involving a very large bottle of milk and one veeery hungry cat.   
  
Bakura: "Ryou get this, this MONSTER off me!"  
  
Ryou: "It's a cat Bakura. And it's just trying to get the milk."   
  
Bakura: "This isn't a cat it's a monster. And the so called harmless monster just bit me!"  
  
Ryou: -_-; "It's a cat and it just licked your hand..."  
  
Bakura: "That wasn't a lick that was a BITE. This CAT is out to get me!"  
  
Ryou sighed then left the room. Instantly the cat's eyes narrowed.  
  
Bakura: "RYOU HELP!!!!!"  
  
Evil cat aka. Precious: "Meoooooow"  
  
Ryou walks back into the room.   
  
Ryou: "See Bakura it's not out to get you it just likes you. Now I'm going to go out for a little while so just stay at home and take care of Precious. And if Precious isn't alright when I come back then..."  
  
Bakura gulped. He had seen his hikari angry before and it wasn't a nice sight.   
  
Ryou: "Precious needs feeding at exactly 4:00. I should be back by 4:30. Now I want you to swear on your tomb robbers honour that you will not a) send Precious's soul to the shadow realm. b) Eat Precious. Or c) go 50 metres away from the house till I get back."   
  
Bakura: "I'm not going to eat Precious, Precious is going to eat ME!!!"  
  
Ryou: "Last time I left you alone with a living animal you ate it. Notice I said LIVING, the pet rock doesn't count."  
  
Bakura: "That's not true! I didn't eat the poochi."  
  
Ryou: "Poochis don't count as real animals."  
  
Bakura: "The packaging on the box said: Just like a real dog:"  
  
Ryou: "You disembowelled it. Then threw it out the second story window. Then you tried to eat it. And then you went to the mall and ripped apart their entire stuffed toy section. And I'm STILL paying the bills!" He started to twitch.   
  
Bakura: "That poochi did the fingers to me!"  
  
Ryou: "POOCHIS HAVE NO FINGERS! HOW COULD IT DO THE FINGERS TO YOU!" He started laughing evilly. "Sane Sane who says I'm SANE!!!! Heheheheheh I can see purple mushrooms! Whee take me to your leader!!"  
  
Bakura: 0_o... "Is, is that normal?"  
  
Ryou: "Trust in the heart of the 6009474923 and a half! And some cheese!"  
  
Bakura: "..."  
  
Ryou: "Fish heads fish heads roly poly fish heads fish heads fish heads eat them up yum!"  
  
Bakura: "I think, I'll just go get some err help for your umm... Fish head problem. Yes that's it, the fish heads. Soooo I'll just be going now! Bye."  
  
Ryou: " ^______________________^ sugar tastes good."  
  
Bakura raced outside to the kitchen and grabbed the phone and dialled the only number he knew. "Thank Ra Ryou insisted that I learn how to use the phone thing."  
  
Beep Beep beep. There were a couple of screams then someone answered.  
  
Marik: "Hello this is the. Wait a minute will you." There were a couple more screams then the phone was picked back up. "Hel, hello this is the Ishtar residence how can I help you?"   
  
Bakura: "Marik, Ryou is..." He looked behind him. "Currently running round in circles making airplane noises and shouting that he can fly. I think he finally cracked."  
  
Marik: "And?"  
  
Bakura: "What, is it normal hikari behaviour or something?"  
  
Marik: "Yeah, right now mines sitting on the couch and screaming because his favourite soap opera was cancelled."  
  
Bakura: O_O "You call that normal?"  
  
Marik: "Yep just a normal everyday thing! So what did you do?"  
  
Bakura: "I was just arguing with him about poochis..."  
  
Marik: "What about poochis?"  
  
Bakura: "He refused to believe that his poochi did the fingers to me!"  
  
Marik & Bakura: "EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Marik: "Well your hikari won't be back to normal for at least a couple of hours so I'd say you're free! How about we go terrorise people then we go send people to the shadow realm then we go CLOTHES SHOPPING!!!  
  
Bakura and Marik: "^____^ girly squeal!!!"  
  
Bakura: "Wait a minute, why in Ra's name did we just squeal girlishly for?"  
  
Marik: "Because the authors trying desperately to be funny and failing pathetically. Or it could just be because we're secretly girls who just dress as guys. After all we both have amazingly long hair for guys. Or the author could just be insane."   
  
Bakura: "I'd go with the last one."  
  
///////////////////////////S-d -_- "DIE!!!!"//////////////////////////////  
  
Marik: "After this chapter we're going to die aren't we..."  
  
Bakura: "Yep"  
  
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////  
  
Bakura: "Great you come over and pick me up! Then we go terrorise the mall!"  
  
Marik & Bakura: "Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahah!!!!"  
  
Marik: "Ha!"  
  
Bakura: "What was that for?"  
  
Marik: "Haven't you ever heard of the ancient tradition of ba bom ba THE LAST LAUGH?"  
  
Bakura: -_-; "Baka"   
  
And in the shadows the pair of evil yellow eyes laughed. "Those two baka's will be helpless in front of my amazing power!!! I shall steal their millennium items and then... I SHALL RULE THE WORLD!!!!!!!!"  
  
-___________________________________________________________________________-  
  
S-d: "Now wasn't that a dramatic ending. Hikaris and Yami's are separate in case you haven't noticed. And Marik is the Yami, Malik is the Hikari! ^_^"  
  
Seto: "Do I get to go back to Kaiba corp. now?"  
  
S-D: ^______^ "Nope! Please review or send constructive criticisms! And I know that this is sort of strange."  
  
Seto: "And short."  
  
S-D: "But please bare with me! It will get better! And now to go Bakura and Marik hunting. ^____________^ Review Please!!!!! Oh yes and the fish head song belongs to Mamono! Thankies! 


	2. The joys of a sugar high Ryou

Sabre Dragon is sitting on a floating recliner drinking apple cider and being waited on by Marik and Bakura.   
  
SD: "It's times like these were I love being an authoress ^__^ I thank all the reviewers at the bottom. Frankly I'd shower you with praise for the entire fic but I don't think (unless your an egotistical maniac like me of course!) That anyone would bother reading it ^__^"  
  
Seto: "You think someone like HER would own Yu-Gi-Oh! All she owns is a keyboard. She doesn't even own the computer..."  
  
SD: ";_ ; That wasn't nice... Marik, Bakura get him!" Holds up cucumber.  
  
Everyone else: -_-;   
  
SD: ^_^;;;;; "Wrong pocket..."  
  
-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-__-^__^  
  
Five minutes later in the Bakura household the doorbell rang. Dinggggg dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. There was the sound of someone hitting something. Ng.  
  
Bakura: "Marik, you're finally here. " He held up a ripped pillow.   
  
"Ryou is bouncing around with the bread knife." He gasped. "THE BREAD KNIFE!!!"   
  
Marik: 0_0... "I thought you were the one with the addiction for knives..."  
  
Bakura: "And other sharp pointy things. Don't forget daggers, or swords or sabres...."  
  
Ryou: Bounces past Bakura. "London Bridge is burning down burning down burning down, London Bridge is burning down, needs more salsa!" Runs up and hugs Marik. "Hewo uwcle Mawik!" Goes back to singing "Build it up with lighter fluid, lighter fluid, lighter fluid, build it up with lighter fluid bring a ma-atch!" Runs off into the kitchen again.  
  
Marik & Bakura: 0_o...   
  
Bakura: "What were you saying about my hikari's behaviour being... NORMAL!"  
  
Marik: " Are you sure he hasn't been near the sugar?"  
  
Bakura: "No, he hasn't been near the kitchen yet..."  
  
Marik & Bakura: "He went into the kitchen..."  
  
Bakura: "Ra help me! Do you know what Hikari's are like around SUGAR!"?  
  
Marik: "Lets compare my hikari to yours. I'm pretty sure mines worse, aren't you?"  
  
Bakura: " No...Mine is!"  
  
Marik: "No mine!"  
  
Bakura: "MINE!!!"  
  
Marik: "Is not!"  
  
Bakura: "Is too!"  
  
Marik: "Is no."  
  
Both of them turn around at the large bang.   
  
Ryou: "Heheheh. That crazy authoress girl was right, flour does explode!"  
  
Marik & Bakura: "What crazy authoress girl?"  
  
Ryou: "This one!"  
  
SD: " Hi!!!"  
  
Ryou & SD: "GOLLIWOGS UNITED!!!"  
  
Marik: "...What's a golliwog."  
  
SD: Puts on a lab coat and glasses. "A golliwog is a traditional British demon, not as most people assume a black person with frizzy hair. Golliwogs are incredibly destructive and evil and were actually featured in Enid Blyton's Noddy series, but were replaced with goblins by American publishers who didn't like golliwogs..." Returns to normal sugar high state. "DOWN WITH AMERICAN PUBLISHERS WHO CUT OUT ALL THE GOOD BITS OF JAPANESE T.V LIKE BAKURA WITH NO SHIRT!!!"  
  
Bakura, Marik & Ryou: 0_o "That was very... strange..."  
  
Sausage my plot Lycanthrope walks in and tosses SD over her shoulder.   
  
Sausage: " This is why you DON'T drink apple cider by the litre. Sorry for any disturbance. My authoress is completely insane and you should probably put out that fuse sometime soon..." Vanishes in a puff of sugar.   
  
Marik: "They had pictures of you WITHOUT your shirt on?"  
  
Bakura: "What did that she mean by fuse?"  
  
Ryou: Starts eating the sugar of the floor. "^______________^ I like my new friend!"  
  
BOOM!!!   
  
Bakura: "I guess that was the fuse wasn't it..."  
  
Marik: "They had pictures of you without your shirt on and they didn't SHOW THEM ON AMERICAN TELEVISION!"  
  
Bakura & Ryou: 0_0  
  
Marik: "I mean, that authoress girl really was insane wasn't she..."  
  
Suddenly the EVIL CAT. Bah boom bah!!! Walks into the room.   
  
Precious: "Meeeooow." (Which translates in cat as, "How stupid can three people get?"  
  
Bakura: "HIDE ME!!!" Jumps into Mariks arms.  
  
Marik: Falls on floor. "You are sitting on my FACE!!!"   
  
Ryou: " Time to try out that other thing that crazy person said!"  
  
Marik: "Ra help us. She told you more. Is she insane!" Starts curling up in a ball.  
  
Ryou: "Yep! ^_____^ "  
  
Bakura: -- "She will die... "  
  
Marik: Uncurls head from ball. " Ryou, whatever you do don't try anything that crazy girl told you to d... eep! That cat's still there!"  
  
Precious: "Meeeeow meow." (In cat: "Die foolish mortals DIE!!!")  
  
Ryou: 0_0 "I don't think that cat likes us very much..." Runs off and hides.  
  
Bakura: "I told you Abiou that cat is the most EVIL being in the entire world!!!" Bah boom bah!  
  
Marik: "Where is that bloody music coming from?"  
  
Bakura: *gasp* "You, You're going BRITISH!!! Bah boom bah."  
  
Marik: "Arghhh help me, I'll be turned into a bad dub. NOOOOOOO!!!!" BAH BOOM BAH!  
  
Bakura: "You're right, they keep on playing scary music whenever something bad happens like watch. CUCUMBER!" Bah boom bah!  
  
Marik: "What's so bad about a cucumber?"  
  
Bakura: "Well... lets just say it involves Ryou's little cousin Emily and a pool filter."   
  
Marik: "0_o that doesn't sound good..."   
  
Bakura: "No it wasn't. Now I can't look at a cucumber salad without screaming..."  
  
(Sd: "And moooving right along... My sick mind will be my downfall... .")  
  
Marik: "Hey Bakura..."  
  
Bakura: "What."  
  
Marik: "Where the hell did Ryou go?"  
  
Down the Hallway someone laughs evilly. "Hahahahahahahah with my new super powers I shall RULE THE WORLD!!!"  
  
Marik & Bakura: 0_0   
  
Bakura: "How long has he been gone?"  
  
Marik: "Long enough to do something really stupid..."  
  
Bakura: "Oh crap!"  
  
Marik: "What now?"  
  
Bakura: "That wasn't Ryou's voice right..."   
  
Marik: "How can you tell?"  
  
Bakura: "No British accent."  
  
Marik: "Okay."  
  
Bakura: "Soooo..."  
  
Marik & Bakura: "Who's voice was it?"  
  
^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^  
  
SD: "Aren't cliff hangers fun!!!"   
  
Seto: "-_-; you realise she only stopped because she has absolutely no idea what's going to happen next."  
  
SD: ^_____^ "And? Oh yeah I have to mention this, I AM NOT BASHING BRITSH PEOPLE!!! I STRONGLY DISLIKE BASHING AND I AM JUST MAKING A POINT!!!" Starts gasping for air. "Just in case it came across that way.^___^"  
  
Seto: "-_- There are a lot of people out there who would question your sanity."  
  
SD: ^___^ "I'd be one of them! Now thankies and glomphs go out to all these nice kind people who reviewed. You actually care!!!!"  
  
Sugar Demon: "Hi Maya!!! Yep I used your idea about poochis, thanks for helping me with that... (May be not in maths next time though...) Golliwogs united!!!!"  
  
eRIN: "Thank you! I've been told I have an overactive imagination... ^__^"  
  
Virgo9000: "Heheheh I don't think it's humanely possible to crack like that... But then again what would I know ^________^"  
  
  
  
Seto: "You realise she's going to experiment on me!!!"  
  
SD: "Heheheheheh...yeah."  
  
LittleYugiBoy: " ^___^ I plan on making plenty of people suffer yet!! But I don't think your Yami... (Is she your Yami???) Will be joining the "I was tortured by an insane authoress and survived" club yet! Please keep on reviewing!!!"  
  
No one's friend: "I don't think I'll be killing Tea off... I can kill Teas dub artists though!" Starts smiling evilly.... "But the blowing up I will do!!" Boom boom time heheheheh. ^_____^"   
  
Grabs large hammer and wanders off.   
  
Seto: "See the blue button. Press it and wondrous things will happen. Including SD updating! Not that that's a good thing but..." Is hit on head with hammer.  
  
Sd: " ^_______________^ Please be nice!" 


	3. authors note

Sugar demon: " Hi!!!. I'm here on a mission for my friend Sabre dragon. She won't be updating for a while cause she managed to break her arm..."  
  
Seto: "And a message from Sabre dragon to whoever's reading this. `Hi!!! I'd just like to say that trying to roller blade down a hill is a BAD idea.... `  
  
Sugar demon: "Wow look how long it took her to figure that one out..."  
  
Seto: "She still isn't finished. ` NO ONE TOLD ME THAT ROLLERBALDES DON'T HAVE BREAKS!!!! `  
  
Sugar demon: --' "You know that normal people would actually think about that BEFORE they tried it..."  
  
Seto: "She now wants to talk some more. ` Also to "like I'm telling" if you have a problem with what I've written or I've unintentionally done something to offend you e-mail me and I'll change it! And if you plan to insult me then please use some insults I don't know! I like expanding my vocabulary ^_____^` and I do not mean to use any racially inclined jokes.  
  
Seto and sugar demon: --; "That was overly strange..."  
  
Sugar demon: "Anyways thankies for taking the time to read this! Sabre dragon will update soon. (This means she'll blackmail me into typing for her...) buhbi!!! 


	4. Evil yami eating cat anyone?

Sabre dragon: "I just finished my operation to reset my arm... owwies I hate injections... ;_ ; soooo sore... but I got a new laptop... Wheeeee!!!! Now I can smash my broken arm against a laptop keyboard..."  
  
Seto: "She now owns her laptop ... this is all. Everything else is supplied for her by the great beings in the sky. Aka-her parents.  
  
Sd: "So me no own..."   
  
--; --; --; --; --; --; --; --; --; --; --; --; --; --; --; --; --; --; ^___^  
  
Recap: " Ryou cracked and had a lot of fun with flour..."  
  
*~*  
  
Marik: "Where did the cat go?"  
  
Bakura: 0_o "You don't think that Ryou..."  
  
Marik: "Would he?"  
  
Bakura: "Normally no, but he's been acting sort of weird lately soooo..."  
  
Marik: "You call BLOWING UP YOUR KITCHEN sort of weird?"  
  
Bakura: " Well yeah. I mean look at Ryou. He's not exactly your general insane hikari..."  
  
Marik: "No, Malik does a pretty good job in that department."  
  
Bakura: "How did you train him so well?"  
  
Marik: "Hikari's respond very well to whistle training. ^_^"  
  
Bakura: Busy taking notes. "So would you say that Ryou could be trained to be insane at a whistle?"  
  
Marik: " Yep!"  
  
Bakura: "Good advice, I'll try it sometime. Now back to the manner at hand."  
  
Marik: "What you mean running away from whatever Ryou did?"  
  
Bakura & Marik: 0_0...  
  
Watch as a giant fluffy cat with a pink bow round its neck walks out into the hallway, crushing several priceless Egyptian artefacts along the way.  
  
Ryou: " Oh oh... guess not ALL her ideas were good ones..."   
  
Precious: "Hahahahah I have now evolved into my ultimate form, PRECIOUS LITTLE TREASURE, THE INVINCIBLE!!!!"  
  
Bakura: "Precious... little... treasure?"  
  
Marik, Bakura & Ryou: Start laughing their heads off.  
  
PLT: "Those who dare laugh at my name shall DIE!!!!!!"  
  
Marik: o_0  
  
Bakura: o_0  
  
Ryou: ^__________^ "This is fun!"  
  
Marik: "This is how we can tell he's YOUR hikari..."  
  
Bakura: "What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
Marik: "What do you think?"  
  
PLT: "I SAID. Die foolish mortals!"  
  
Bakura & Marik: "We aren't mortals."  
  
Bakura: "So are you saying that I'm stupid?"  
  
Marik: "I shouldn't have to. I thought it was obvious."  
  
PLT: "Is anyone going to pay attention to the giant mutant cat over here?"  
  
Bakura: "Not till Marik takes back what he said."  
  
PLT: --; "I would choose to terrorise a bunch of idiots..."  
  
Ryou: "Then why don't you just not terrorise anyone?"  
  
PLT: "Cause then the story would end sort of stupid. And I want to RULE THE WORLD!!!!! Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah! Ha!"  
  
Bakura, Marik and Ryou: 0_o...  
  
Bakura: "Run?"  
  
Marik: "RUN!"  
  
Ryou: "Can I join in too?"  
  
Bakura: --; "Just RUN!"  
  
Ryou: ^___^ "Okay!"  
  
PLT: "DIE!!!!!!" Starts running towards the two yamis and the hikari.   
  
Marik, Bakura and Ryou manage to get to the door and shut it. They hear the click of the lock behind them.   
  
Bakura: "How are we going to get back in?"  
  
Marik: "By logical thinking and immense bravery!"  
  
Bakura: "... Aren't we supposed to be evil?"  
  
Marik: "Or we could just feed Ryou some sugar then throw him through the window!"  
  
Bakura: "0_0 I feel sorry for the cat already..."  
  
Ryou: "Did someone say sugar? Wheeeee!!!!" Starts singing again.   
  
Bakura: "You know your idea just might work..."  
  
Marik: ^_____^ "I'm brilliant."  
  
Bakura: "One problem."  
  
Marik: "What?"  
  
Bakura: "How are we supposed to get sugar when we're locked outside?  
  
Marik: "Ummmmmmmm"  
  
Ryou: "Lets go visit uwncle Malik! I can teach him the fish heads song!"  
  
Marik: " Malik!"  
  
Bakura: "What about Malik?"  
  
Marik: "We can go back to my house!"  
  
Bakura: "You actually WANT Malik to learn the fish head song?"  
  
Marik: "No! But my house has a kitchen."  
  
Bakura: "Yes. And?"  
  
Marik: "SUGAR!"  
  
Bakura: "You want sugar now to... How close have you been to Ryou?"  
  
Ryou: "SUGAR!!!!!! Starts singing the Sugar song."  
  
Bakura: --; "You had to get him started..."  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sabre Dragon: "I managed to smash my hand on the keyboard a total of seven times! Lets all give me a big cheer!!!"  
  
Seto: "Cough cough... Idiot cough."  
  
Sd: "Its not my fault.... ;_ ; Blame the roller blades.... anyways I'm kind of going to put off typing out the long version of the reviewer thanks till next time... I think my nurse is getting a bit tired of my little smashing my hand then shouting for the next five minutes thing... heheh yeah..."  
  
Seto: "And what she means to say is please read and review and tell her what she's done wrong before you flame."  
  
Sd: "Thankies to all the nice reviewers!!!" 


	5. attack of the FGFCAGBAG

Sabre Dragon: "Hi! I'm back at school... Accordingly even if you break your arm you still have to go to school... ;_;" Waves her broken arm in air and starts screaming in pain.  
  
Seto: "--; She has done that a total of..." Starts counting on a piece of paper.  
  
Neko Mimiru: "It's sixteen times."  
  
Seto: " 0_o Who are you?"  
  
Neko Mimiru: "I'm the spirit of the millennium arm."  
  
Sd: Stops yelling. "She's here to do the disclaimer!" Goes back to screaming..."  
  
NM: " Is the little white name at the bottom of every ad break screen Sabre-Dragon? No? Then she doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Neither does she own Panteen. If she did she wouldn't be here."  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Recap: " The man eating cat aka. Precious little treasure... Locked the three idiots out of the house. Now launching operation Ryou bomb..."  
  
Marik: "THE POINT WAS that my house has a kitchen."  
  
Bakura: "I thought Malik blew it up?"  
  
Marik: "Yeah but Ishizu got a new one..."  
  
Ryou: "Can we go eat sugar now?"  
  
Bakura & Marik: "NO!"  
  
Ryou: "; _;" Starts crying.  
  
Bakura: o_0 "Can he stop that? It's starting to REALLY scare me..."  
  
Marik: "Meep! Hide me!" Runs and hides behind the tree.  
  
Bakura: "What?"  
  
Marik: From behind the tree. "It's the FGFCAGBAG!"  
  
Bakura: "What the?"  
  
Marik: "Ru-"  
  
Marik gets cut short as a heard of screaming fan girls stampede over him and start hugging Ryou.  
  
Bakura: "0_0"  
  
Marik: "X__X"  
  
Ryou: " When do I get the sugar?"  
  
Bakura: "They're worse then the cat..."  
  
Head fan girl: "Oh my god! We're the FGFCAGBAG!"  
  
Bakura: "FGFCAGBAG?"  
  
Group of fan girl cheerleaders: The FGFCAGBAG is an organization of fan girls dedicated to hunting down and glomping various bishie anime guys form all over the world. GO GIRLS!" Run back to glomping Ryou.  
  
Marik & Bakura: "0_o Is that a normal hobby?"  
  
Fan girl commander in chief: "Yep and it's very entertaining! You wouldn't believe how high some of them can scream ^___^"  
  
Marik: "Now you know why I was RUNNING AWAY!"  
  
Bakura: "Is it too late?"  
  
Random fan girl: " Just in case you were wondering what our name means it stands for..."  
  
Fan girl cheerleaders: "FANGIRLS FOR THE CAPTURING AND GLOMPING OF BISHIE ANIME GUYS!" Start back flipping and tossing pompoms.  
  
Ryou: "Wheeee!" Starts tossing pompoms.  
  
Bakura: Stares at the initiated Ryou who is now wearing an overly short skirt and crop top. "I am scarred for life..."  
  
Marik: "0_o I'm glad he isn't my hikari..."  
  
Bakura: "Do you think he'll believe me when I tell him about this?"  
  
Marik: "No."  
  
Bakura: "I didn't think so..."  
  
Marik: "CAN SOMEONE GET RYOU OUT OF THAT MINISKIRT!"  
  
Commander general rabid fan girl: " Well it could be done but I think it's going just a little to far..."  
  
Marik: "I DIDN'T MEAN LIKE THAT!"  
  
CGR fan girl: "Then what did you mean?"  
  
Marik: "I meant that GUYS ARE NOT MEANT TO WHERE MINI SKIRTS."  
  
Fan girl cheerleaders: "He's a guy?"  
  
Bakura: Pokes head down from tree. "YES!"  
  
Fan girl cheerleader no 1: "But He's got such long soft silky hair!"  
  
Ryou: "^___^ How do I keep my hair looking silky and smooth. The secret is Panteen. With it's rotting fish guts and used maggots Panteen puts the shine back in rough, tangled or dry hair.   
  
Marik: In girlish model voice. "Let me at it!"  
  
Fan girls: "See She's a Girl!"  
  
Bakura: "0_o I'm his Yami. Am I a girl?"  
  
Fan girls: "Oh my god! So you're a girl too!"  
  
CGR fan girl: "Okay girls it's makeover time!"  
  
Bakura: "0_0 What did they just say?"  
  
Marik: "At least it's not me!"  
  
Fan girl cheerleader no 2: "Oh yes it is! I mean look at your nails!"  
  
Bakura & Marik: "0_0 Help..."  
  
Ryou: "^_____________________^ This is Fun fun fun."  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sd: "I've stopped screaming now! So I can properly introduce Neko Mimiru. She's the spirit of my millennium cast. Also called the millennium Arm. She's joining us for a wee while!"  
  
Seto: "You know I feel really sorry for Marik and Bakura..."  
  
Neko Mimiru: "At least you can't read her mind... It's worse..."  
  
Sd: "Am I really that bad?"  
  
NM & Seto: "YES!"  
  
SD: "Okay I'm not sure if that was funny or not... I don't think it was my best work ever... But also... GO READ LITTLE YUGI BOY'S STORY!!! It's called the duellist quest so go and read!!! Please ^__^ Now it's that time again. Reviewer thanks!  
  
Little Yugi boy: "Thank you thank you thank you for reviewing soooooooooo much! I love getting reviews!!!"  
  
NM: "Is she always like this?"  
  
Seto: "Yep..."  
  
SD: "Ignore those two. I always do. ^__^ Thanks again. Did you see I made a reference to your story? PLEASE UPDATE!!!! thankies!  
  
Esopha: "Hi! Yeah I kinda realised that... It's what started of the idea for this fic actually. After all no one said that the ancient Egyptians worshipped cats willingly..."   
  
Little Yugi boy: "Okay I just realised that I'm probably going to thank you about five times in this reviewer thanks... hope you don't mind?"  
  
PLT: Starts sharpening claws.... "WHO DARES LAUGH AT MY NAME?"  
  
SD: "0_0 help..."  
  
Padjeme: "See Seto, I'm not the only one who tortures you and Bakura! ^__^"  
  
Seto: X______X  
  
SD: "You didn't have to go and faint. Padjeme PLEASE UPDATE! I love your idea for a Bakura makeover!!!"  
  
Little Yugi Boy: "I am soooooooooooo sorry I called Sakura your Yami! Please forgive me!!! Will you ever forgive me?" Starts sobbing. "I read your story so I think you might understand the reason for the sudden pleading... heheheh. Please forgive me!!!!!"  
  
Hello!: "Yeah I'm going to change that summary, I'm not to good at summary writing though so it could be a while..."   
  
Ten-kih Ho-shih: "I read your story. Please update soon!!! Thanks for saying my stories funny! I think any story I write sort of turns out that way unless I try to stop it... ;_ ;"   
  
-----------------  
  
SD: "One more thing. I need a few people to be in my story so if you review and say you'd like to be in then I'll try my hardest to put you in. I just need a few people to help torture; I mean educate Bakura and Marik. ^___^  
  
NM: "Please read and review? I think..."  
  
SD: "Yes pleeeease read and review... But no mean flames..." 


	6. It's makeover time!

Sabre-Dragon: "I am so so so so so so so soooorry!!!!!"  
  
Seto, Bakura and Marik: "We who are about to be killed by reviewers salute you."  
  
Sd: "Thanks --;"  
  
Neko Mimiru: "She doesn't own Yu-gi-oh, or the reviewers. Yu-Gi-Oh is owned by ummmm what's his name again?"  
  
SD: -____-;  
  
Neko Mimiru: "And the reviewers are owned by..... The reviewers, I think..... Well don't steal them cause we need them."   
  
SD: "I did have a reason for not updating.... Just in case anyone thought I was just being lazy but yeah... I don't really want to talk about it.... Anyways enough being depressed, (What's the point of escaping to imaginary worlds if you have to be depressed there to?) Time to start the long awaited (I hope) chapter!"  
  
_-----------_-----------_-----------_---------__---------_------------_------  
  
Recap: The great almighty FGFCAGBAG have captured Bakura and Marik have called in reinforcements in the great quest to FIX MARIKS NAILS....  
  
Commander general rabid fan girl: "Because you two are such a difficult case we've decided to call in our special secret members."  
  
Bakura: "o_0 these people are starting to scare me..."  
  
Marik: "What they've done to Ryou is the worst..." Points over to where Ryou is busy having his nails French manicured.  
  
Bakura: "Really Really scaring me now..."  
  
Random fan girl: "It gets worse ^__^ The special members have finally arrived."  
  
Bakura: "Ummm who are the special members?"  
  
Random fan girl no.2: "They are the best fan girls in the entire world, FANFICTION WRITERS!!!"  
  
Bakura & Marik: "O_O does that mean?"  
  
RF: "Yeah the only Fan girls who can actually CONTROL bishies, Every little fan girl dreams of becoming one of them and receiving the special key board of initiation..."  
  
Bakura: "Is this fixation NATRUAL?"  
  
Ryou: Bounces over. "Do you like my nails?"  
  
Marik: "I can't watch...."  
  
CGRF: "The FF. net writers have arrived!" Points over to a limo that has just suddenly appeared out of thin air.  
  
Bakura: "How did that just happen?"  
  
RF: "The ff.net Writers have magical powers... they use the power of the plot holes to travel."  
  
FF Fan girls: "Hi!!! ^_____________^ WE are the FF.net Fan girls!!!" All run up and glomp Ryou.  
  
Bakura: "Evil..."  
  
Marik: "Jealous?"  
  
Bakura: "NO!"  
  
Marik: "Whatever..."  
  
Yami Sakuno: "Marik!!" Runs up and glomps Marik round the neck.  
  
Marik: "Can't breath... X__X"  
  
Bakura: "0_o Is he... alright?"  
  
Yami Sakuno: is still glomping Marik. ^____^ "He'll be fine"  
  
Marik: ". Help me!"  
  
SD: "Our dear friend Padmejem has something she wants to tell you Bakura."  
  
(AN: It was Padmejems brilliant idea for the Bakura manicure. Did you mind if I expanded on it?)  
  
Padmejem: "The best way to make your Hikari crazy is to give him Coffee and SUGAR!!!! Watch!" Types in a cup of coffee and hands it to Ryou.  
  
Bakura: Winces as Ryou gulps down Coffee...  
  
Ryou: ^_______________________^ "Wheeeeeeeeee!!!"  
  
Starts bouncing round in circles.  
  
SD: "^_______________^ And now it's time for your special treatment." Points a keyboard at Bakura. "You definitely need to do something with that hair! And get rid of that ring." Snatches the millennium ring off Bakura's neck and hands it to Little Yugi Boy. "Now you can torture someone lese instead of Sakura!"  
  
LYB: "^_______^" Summons Dark Magician Girl and gets to work on Bakura's hair and makeup.  
  
Bakura: "HELP ME!!!!!!!"  
  
CGRF: "I'm impressed, Did you know they said they weren't girls?"  
  
SD: "They both have longer hair then I do ;_ ; It's not fair...." Sips extra sugared apple juice. "WHEEEEEEE!!!"  
  
Meanwhile YS has is being pried off Marik.  
  
Marik: X______________X  
  
Sugar Demon: "Ummm I think he died..."  
  
YS: "Oh well!!"  
  
Sd2: "That's a bad thing...." (AN: I just realised that Sugar Demon and me have the same initials... She is now Sd2!")  
  
YS: "It is?"  
  
Sd2: "^_~... I think so... Oh well!" Goes back to applying Marik's eyeliner.  
  
Marik: X________X  
  
And back to Bakura...  
  
LYB: "What do you think?" Points to a newly made up Bakura wearing Jeans a pink Strawberry top with his hair in pigtails with pink ribbons. "Do you like the makeup?"  
  
Bakura: "What have you done to me? I'm a GUY!!!"  
  
SD: "Whatever."  
  
Bakura: "I AM!!!"  
  
CGRF: "I love what you've done to Marik!"  
  
Padmejem, YS and SD2 drag in a remade-up Marik.  
  
Padmejem, YS & SD2: "You like it?"  
  
Marik: "X____________X"  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
SD: "Heheheh even more cliff hangers, I'm cruel I know!"  
  
Seto: "You enjoy this don't you?"  
  
Sd: "^_________^ Yep, And I just wanted to say that I took a lot of liberties with personalities. I hope you forgive me. And I am NOT usually a pink crazed make-up crazed person, Blame the apple juice!!"  
  
NM: "Please read and review!!" 


	7. FGFCAGBAG unlimited

Sd: "I made it in time, Just..."  
  
Seto: "It's all her fault!" Points over to where Sd2 aka Sugar Demon is busy poking Marik.  
  
SD2: "He or she? Won't wake up..."  
  
SD: "Oh yeah I meant to fix that... Uses Yami Sakuno's gift to fix Marik."  
  
SD2 & Sd: "Yay!!!"  
  
Marik: "Yay..."   
  
Seto: "Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!! That thought is TO scary to think about..." Notices the evil looks from Sd and SD2. "Help..."  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Recap: "Nooooooooo Don't make me do this!!!!!"   
  
Sd: "JUST SAY IT!!!!"  
  
Recap: "Bakura and Marik got all dressed up FGFCAGBAG style..." There I said it, Happy now?"  
  
Sd: "Nope!!! ^________^"  
  
**********  
  
Padmejem, YS and SD2: Point to a newly made up Marik.  
  
Marik: "Why did you have to wake me up..."  
  
Sd: "^________^ Cause. Anyways Yami Sakuno gave the bag to me so she could glomp you more." Points to Yami Sakuno. "Go ahead and glomp him as much as you want."  
  
YS: "^_______________________^"  
  
Marik: "0_0"  
  
SD: "Anyway I would now like to introduce our very special fashion expert  
  
Sphinx's Evil Twin. ^_______^"  
  
Sphinx's evil twin appears out of a plot hole.  
  
SET: "Hiya! Love what you've done with Marik and Bakura!!!"  
  
Padmejem, YS and SD2 and LYB blush.  
  
YS: Still glomping Marik. "You like it?"  
  
LYB: "I think it looks pretty good."  
  
Padmejem: Holds up the before and after pictures. "Actually..."  
  
Sd: "What?"  
  
Padmejem: "You know Marik's outfit really isn't that different from before..."  
  
Sd2: "Aren't you supposed to be a guy????"  
  
Bakura: "FINALLY YOU REALISED!!!"  
  
SET: "What did we realise???"  
  
Bakura: "Me, Marik and Ryou are GUYS!!!!"  
  
SD: "Heheheh I forgot..."  
  
Everyone else: --;  
  
FGFCAGBAG: "We'll just leave now..."  
  
Fan fiction girls: "We might just stick round for a wee while..."  
  
SD: "Let's go Seto and Mokuba hunting!!!!"  
  
Yami Sakuno: "But what about Marik?????"  
  
Sd2: "We have to find YAMI as well!!!!"  
  
YS: "^____^ I'm fine with that!!!"  
  
LYB: "Yugi?"  
  
SET: "Let's just hunt everyone!!!!"  
  
SD: "Kay!!"  
  
Fan fiction girls disappear into plot hole, not before giving Ryou a big cup of coffee.  
  
Bakura: "What do we do now?"  
  
Marik: "Stick with the original plan. Go to my house and feed Ryou up on sugar."  
  
Ryou: "Yayayayayayayayayay!!!!"  
  
Bakura: "But ummm can we get him out of that mini-skirt first?"  
  
Marik: ". Us to..."  
  
Bakura: "Umm where did they put our clothes??"  
  
Marik: "If they got rid of them..."  
  
Bakura: "Then that means that..."  
  
Ryou: "We get to dress up as girls and go to town!!!!!"  
  
Marik: ";_ ; Can this day get ANY worse..."  
  
Ryou: "Well those girls could come back..."  
  
Bakura: "Ryou..."  
  
Ryou: "Or some one we know could see us."  
  
Bakura: "RYOU!"  
  
Ryou: "Or the pharaoh could come up and try to..."  
  
Bakura: "SHUT UP!!!!"  
  
Ryou: "Okay ^_____^"  
  
Marik: "This is alllll Ryou's fault...."  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
SD: "This is short... Even for me."  
  
Seto: "This time you will not forget to thank the reviewers!"  
  
SD2: "And thanks goes out to   
  
Yami Sakuno  
  
Sphinx's evil twin  
  
Little Yugi Boy  
  
Padmejem  
  
And Not Important."  
  
Sd: "We love you all!!!!"  
  
SD2: "Pwease pwease pwease review!!! Wait a minute why I am saying this? It isn't even my story!!!"   
  
Sd: "It took you long enough to figure that one out. ^_______^ In case you couldn't figure it out you need to press the little blue button." 


	8. Lets not dddd dddd duel

Sabre-Dragon: "Hi!!! Welcome to another strange episode of day of the evil cats... I've just read everything I've written so far and I've decided that it's all completely insane!!! Heheheh yeah... ^_^; Not my fault..."  
  
Seto: "So the words just magically write themselves onto the screen? "  
  
SD: "^__^ yep!"  
  
Seto: --;  
  
SD: "Me no own!!!!"  
  
Seto: "As if that wasn't obvious enough..."  
  
*****************************************************************************Recap: Once apoon a time Bakura, Marik and Ryou managed to escape from the FFCAGBAG only to realise that to get to Marik's house and save the world they would have to go through town dressed as girls...   
  
The end. ^_^  
  
SD: "--; It hasn't even started yet..."  
  
Recap: "I know ^__^"  
  
SD: "Evil..."  
  
*****  
  
Bakura: "This is all Ryou's fault..."  
  
Marik: "I know..."  
  
Ryou: " Bouncity bounce bounce bounce!!!"  
  
Bakura: "--; There is no possible way that this can be happening to me. I used to one of the most skilled tomb robbers in all of Egypt and now look at me."  
  
Marik: "Strictly speaking you weren't actually the best..."  
  
Bakura: "Shut up..."  
  
Marik: "Well you weren't..."  
  
Bakura: "The point I was trying to make was that in Egypt I wouldn't have been caught dead walking round in PUBLIC dressed like a girl..."  
  
Ryou: "But you ARE dead!"  
  
Marik: "Did he just say something that made sense?"  
  
Ryou: "Wheeee!!!"  
  
Bakura: "No."  
  
One of the cars sitting at the lights toots.  
  
Bakura: "Nooooo..."  
  
Marik: "How come everyone thinks that we're girls"  
  
Bakura: "It might be the fact that we're wearing pink, or it could be the fact that we're wearing high heels, or that you and Ryou are wearing eyeliner. How could anyone think we were guys???"  
  
Marik: "Umm Bakura?"  
  
Bakura: " I can't believe you could ask such a stupid question. I mean how come everyone thinks we're girls. Couldn't you figure it out by yourself?"  
  
Marik: "Umm BAKURA!!!"  
  
Bakura: "All I can say is that if the Pharaoh sees us, or any of his little friends we are DEAD!!!"  
  
Marik: "BAKURA!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Bakura: "What?"  
  
Marik: "They're over there. With Ryou. Except there's one little problem.  
  
Bakura: "What? There is nothing that could make this day any worse..."   
  
Marik: "What about Yami thinking that Ryou was actually a girl and trying to chat him up?"  
  
Bakura: "Yeah that could probably make my day a lot... WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY????"  
  
Marik: "Ummm Yami thinking that Ryou was a girl and trying to chat him up..."  
  
Bakura: "When I get my hands on that pharaoh I will wring his NECK. Where is he???"  
  
Marik: "0_o talk about possessive..."  
  
Bakura: "What?"  
  
Marik: "Nothing... I think they went into the arcade... They said something about karaoke..."   
  
Bakura: "The king of midgets will DIE!!!!!"  
  
Marik: "0_o I didn't have anything to do with this... But wait a minute if Bakura kills the Pharaoh then I can steal his Egyptian god card and take his place... Then the ancient powers of the Pharaoh shall be mine!!!!" Walks into the arcade after Bakura.  
  
In the arcade Ryou and Serenity are standing on one of the karaoke machines preparing to Karaoke duel.  
  
Serenity: "Lets make this a fair fight.  
  
Ryou: "^____^"  
  
Ryou:   
  
Machine: "Three, two, one. Get ready to Karaoke fight. First up we have player one with Sakura Saku.   
  
Marik: "Looks like Ryou's about to start."  
  
Bakura: "I will kill that good for nothing midget..." Starts licking one of his many knifes.  
  
Everybody else: 0_o  
  
Random guy: "What's that chick doing???  
  
Bakura: "Don't call me a chick!!!!" Starts chasing random guy round the arcade.  
  
Marik: "What are you looking at?"  
  
Everyone else in the arcade gulps and goes back to their games.  
  
*yane no ue de sora o aogu, hizashi wa uraraka  
  
miageru sora, karadajuu genki ga minagitteku  
  
THAT'S SO WONDERFUL! ikiterunda!  
  
yamerarenai, akirameru da nante  
  
tohou ni kureta kinou ni sayonara  
  
futsufutsu to wakiagaru kono kimochi  
  
nando demo yomigaeru, hana o sakaseyou  
  
omoide wa itsu mo amai nige basho  
  
dakedo tachi kire, asu o ikiru tame  
  
shukufuku no toki wa kuru, te o nobashite  
  
uruwashi no yawaraka na hada, imada te wa todokazu  
  
me o tojireba fukuramu IMEEJI, miwaku no kajitsu  
  
THAT'S SO WONDERFUL! ikiterunda!  
  
yamerarenai, sono saki o mitai  
  
dotou no hibi wa tsuzuku, doko made mo  
  
tengoku to jigoku, yukitsu modoritsu  
  
nando demo yomigaeru, hana o sakaseyou  
  
hashire hashire, ai o te ni suru made  
  
sore de kurushimu nara nozomu tokoro  
  
shukufuku no toki ga kuru, te o nobashite  
  
tohou ni kureta kinou ni sayonara  
  
futsufutsu to wakiagaru kono kimochi  
  
nando demo yomigaeru, hana o sakaseyou  
  
omoide wa itsu mo amai nige basho  
  
dakedo tachi kire, asu o ikiru tame  
  
shukufuku no toki wa kuru, te o nobashite  
  
te o nobashite, ryoute agete*  
  
(English translation.)  
  
(On the roof, looking at the sky, the sun's light is warm and gentle  
  
When I look at the sky my entire body is filled with energy)  
  
(THAT'S SO WONDERFUL! I am living  
  
I can't quit it! I can't give up)  
  
(Good bye to the bewildered yesterday  
  
My feelings are springing up  
  
I can bring them up many times, let a flower blossom  
  
Memories are sweet hiding places  
  
Live to see another day  
  
One day a blessing will come, Stretch out your hands)  
  
(The sunlight that swims the sky over the roof is glorious  
  
When I look up at the sky, happiness is filled throughout my body)  
  
(THAT'S SO WONDERFUL! I am living  
  
I can't quit it! I can't give up)  
  
(Daily life is like an angry wave  
  
A cycle of heaven and hell  
  
I can bring it up many times, let a flower blossom  
  
Run, run until you find love  
  
If I was to suffer, let it continue  
  
One day a blessing will come, Stretch out your hands)  
  
(Good-bye to the bewildered yesterday  
  
My feelings are springing up  
  
I can bring them up many times, let a flower blossom  
  
Memories are sweet hiding places  
  
Live to see another day  
  
One day a blessing will come, Stretch out your hands)  
  
(Stretch out your hands, Rise up both your hands)  
  
Marik: ". I didn't know Ryou could sing?"  
  
Bakura: "Stupid idiot random guy calling me a chick... I AM NOT A CHICKEN!!!!"  
  
Everybody else: "o_0"  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
SD: "I would have made this longer, but I kinda figured that reading all the songs might get boring... That song is Sakura Saku literally cherry blossom blooming. If you recognized it it's the Love Hina opening song. ^___^ Such a cute song. Anyone got any suggestions on what Serenity should sing???"  
  
NM: "We would also like to thank everybody who was nice and went and reviewed. We love you all!!!!"  
  
SD: "Apart from flamers, who we don't like..."  
  
NM: "Read and Review!!! ^___^" 


End file.
